Today I am guest posting over at the blog of one of my lovely friends.
Kelly blogs @ Happy Whimsical Hearts about all things magical, fun and enriching in the lives of her children.
I have written a post over at her blog today about Waldorf Festivals in the Southern Hemisphere and the dates of these festivals as they match with the Northern Hemisphere. This is something the I struggled to figure out when I first started exploring the Steiner educational philosophy.
Hop on over to Kelly’s blog to read my post and to check out Kelly’s magical home…enjoy xo.
With mothers day coming up this weekend, there seems to be many many posts on parenting, mothers, mothering etc etc flooding the blogging world.
SillyTalented Blogger that I am, I hadn’t even thought about putting up a post about the commercial entity that is mothers day. You see – we don’t celebrate Mothers Day. Sure, I will give my mum a call and see how she is going – but then I do that on most Sundays. I will get jumped all over in bed by my two devilish charming little boys – but that happens every day.
What I want to blog about in the lead up to Mothers day is the person who has made the biggest difference in my life – the person who inspired me to soar.
My Mum.
When I was growing up (and occasionally when I was a grown up) I didn’t have the greatest amounts of confidence in my own abilities. I blame my first born, pedantic, perfectionist tendencies.
I blame the fact that I was achingly aware of the fact that we had very little money as a family, that we were somehow different, we got by but only just.
I didn’t have the new clothes, trendy gadgets and objects that allowed me to blend in with the cool kids. I was also a bit of a nerd. It was not cool to be a nerd in the 80′s (I get the feeling though that the Hipster movement has made it cool to be a little nerdish now though – go hipsters!)
When I was about twelve I realised that I could not change this family that I was born into. However, I looked at my intelligent, motivated and accomplished mother and wondered why she would choose that life. It made me wonder a little about love and why people get married. I knew very little of other people’s home circumstances. Our money situation was all that I knew – and I knew that it wasn’t all that much fun.
Somewhere along that path I also figured out that I was the only person who could move in a direction away from the continuation of the family life that was all I had ever known.
Now you may think – well this story isn’t all that inspiring. And you would be right.
BUT, it was seeing into my mothers life and growing up in the post feminist 80′s, where opportunities for women were beginning to improve and we were told we could do anything, that showed me that I wasn’t limited – that I could soar and fly away into my own life and create my own new family life based on my rules.
I believe that this realization was one of the most important of my life. Who knows what direction I would have gone in had I not had this realization. I know that some of the decisions I have made along the way have not been the best, but I also know how lucky I was to be brought up by someone who enabled me to go out and do what I needed to do to be better than what I knew growing up.
Even though we had very little money, we didn’t ever want for anything – being a mother now myself and knowing what I know now – I am sure that sacrifices were made to allow me to participate in music lessons, athletics and gymnastics – not to mention every other fleeting extracurricular pursuit I took a fancy to.
I don’t think that as children we could possibly have imagined these small guiding steps that our parents give to us – whether we know it at the time or not. I was encouraged to fulfill my potential at every step of the way. For this I am eternally grateful to my Mum – as she was the driver. She gave me wings to soar.
Who has been the most influential person in your life to date? Was it one of your parents or someone else?
The allure of ice is almost too much to ignore for most children. The cool hardness and joy of not only being able to eat ice but also to break it without fear of being roused on is exhilarating fun – and a great way to cool off on a hot summer afternoon.
This is a great sensory and tactile activity as the children learn about how much they are able to touch the cold slippery ice, how it feels on their feet as compared to hands and the release of throwing it to the ground and watching it break apart.
Gross motor skills are developed through stomping on and throwing the ice down to the ground so that it breaks apart into smaller pieces.
Fine motor skills are developed through learning to get a good grip on the slippery ice when it is picked up.
Fine motor skill development
The coolness and texture of the ice provides sensory stimulation in the way of touch and quite possibly taste (ensure the ice is made from drinking quality water).
How to do this at home!
Gather your supplies – you may need to plan in advance:
A warm Summer Day, A Large Quantity of Ice (Can make your own using water frozen in ice cream buckets or use ice purchased eg. leftover from a party), Some Enthusiastic Children, Small wooden hammers if desired (a Dog will also add to the fun – but not essential).
Very simply, all that needs to be done is to find a smooth hard surface such as Pavers or concrete and to allow the children to tip the ice out onto the ground and play until it melts. This is a great sensory and tactile activity as the children learn about how much they are able to touch the cold slippery ice, how it feels on their feet as compared to hands and the release of throwing it to the ground and watching it break apart.
Enjoy watching them have fun until it melts away to nothing!
There is much written these days about the recommendations for young children and screen time. The official stance in Australia from the department of Health and Ageing states the following:
“For children 2 to 5 years of age, sitting and watching television and the use of other electronic media (DVDs, computer and other electronic games) should be limited to less than one hour per day“
“Children younger than 2 years of age should not spend any time watching television or using other electronic media (DVDs, computer and other electronic games)”
In the Steiner school system (the educational philosophy we follow in the HealthyKids home), it is strongly encouraged that children (especially in the preschool years) are extremely limited in the use of screens in the home. This has nothing to do with the recommendations of the Australian Government and much more to do with the principles of child development applied in Steiner philosophy.
This follows that children need to develop their physical body completely and gain a strong basis in their physical body before they are ready to begin developing their academic functions. Thus the emphasis on outside play and indoor imaginative play, using items found in nature that stimulate the imagination and allow the child to become wholly present in their physical body.
If you consider most small children, you can see that for most, sitting still is challenging – even when you do allow them to watch a show on TV for a short time, they jump all over the lounges and just cannot sit still.
The other element of the abstinence from screens is the aspect of how they might limit the imaginative process. A child whose head if full of Ninja turtles or Dora the explorer is likely to be strongly influenced in their choices of imaginative play. The magical world that is created in the Steiner inspired preschool environment is geared towards the gentle development of a wide-eyed wonder and a strong active imagination. Crucial elements in the further encouragement of the gross and fine motor skill that go along with play that involves being physical in some way (rather than sitting in front of a screen).
These are vital elements in our children becoming future adults who are chronic disease free and able to self regulate exercise AND screen time.
The key word here is self-regulate.
Children who grow up with the expectation that a screen/technology based form of entertainment come to see that as the norm. Some people might say ‘but my child does play sport – I take them to soccer,ballet,gymnastics,swimming…insert organised sporting activity here’ – that’s great and organsied physical activity definitely plays an important role. But what I am talking about is the everyday normality of simply going outside to play, or choosing a game inside that involves dressing up, making a cubby or having a tea party with their soft animals. All of these activities involve using muscles and hands in was that develop fine and gross motor skills. They also develop a psychology in the child of that being active and running around is normal and fun in an everyday sense – that you don’t need to go to a football field or a swimming pool or a gym in order to be active.
In our home we do own a television, however the children’s watching of the television is highly regulated and they would be lucky to watch more than 2 hours of television across the entire week. The television is not in the main living area and neither is the computer. The children are allowed to use the computer under supervision only and once again it is very limited. My husband and I both own smart phones and I have an Ipad – which the eldest child is allowed to use as a treat only – he plays a game that encourages him to draw letters of the alphabet.
I am by no means anti-technology. This is something that as a parent who believes in Steiner education, I often get questioned on. It often goes a little something like this:
Q: “Isn’t that one of those schools where they don’t use any computers”
A:”Yes – the junior school has no computers and they are quite limited in the senior school”
Q: “In this day and age don’t you think you are setting them up for failure by not allowing them to learn about these new technologies”
A: “Not, not at all, they don’t need a computer in the classroom in order to learn to be interested and aware of the world around them.”
Q: ” Um…Ok then, Well good luck with that then…”
The unspoken context of the discussion is always that the child who is not exposed to these technologies is going to be a poor student and clearly not going to do well in life. However, the point is that they do get exposure to these technologies, in a supervised and regulated manner. Something I noticed very quickly when H boy first started using the Ipad to play the alphabet game was that he could very confidently draw the letters using his fingertip, he had excellent letter recognition and he appeared to know what he was doing when it came to drawing the letter in white space on the screen. However, when I asked him to draw the same letter on a piece of paper with a marker or a crayon – he could not do it. Even when I laid out some dots on the page for him to follow – like in the game- he couldn’t do it. I didn’t really understand this at first so I thought about it for some time. Then it hit me that the reason wasn’t because he didn’t know the letter or what he needed to do to draw it – but that he could not control the marker or crayon with his hand well enough to write the letter. This is basic fine motor skill development – and learning to write letters on screen with your fingertip just doesn’t require the development of the same muscles as it would if he needed to hold a pen and control it across the page.
Imagine my surprise to see on the front page of the Daily Telegraph today an article pointing to the fact that teachers are finding that children are struggling with the capacity to write due to the fact that their fine motor development is impaired as a result of under-use – allegedly due to the increased impact of screens on their physical development. They are having to set classroom tasks that are aimed at developing these muscles such as playing with pegs and plasticine to develop the pincer grip required to hold a pencil as a suggested measure to improve this potentially weakened area of development.
SO it seems the couch potato age may have more of an impact on future generations than anyone may have ever considered. As parents we have some degree of impact on how the next generation will emerge. We worry so much about the rising costs of health care and the rising incidence of chronic illness – prevention is key and through the choices we make and the examples we set now – there is a chance that our children can grow up learning how to be adults who value their health more than their technology. I really hope so.
xxAndj
(Ironically, while I was writing this post MrHKHM came in and told me I should get off the computer and stop ignoring the boys…he is right of course…LOL)
So about 6 weeks ago I decided to have myself a Social Media Detox.
I was feeling overwhelmed with life, uninspired to blog and generally blah. I felt like every time I logged into Facebook I was hit with a punching bag full of data that made its way into my head and that it was like carrying a 16kg Kettlebell around with me all the time. Don’t even get me started on Twitter! LOL
The overwhelming feeling wasn’t just about blogging.
Working in the community sector in a human service/counselling role can be extremely draining – I was getting double the hit as I was also volunteering in a counselling role with another national not-for-profit. The constant outpouring of love and empathy to people outside of my internal zone (my family), combined with the need to pour love and effort into my family, left me with a dose of Compassion Fatigue and Burnout.
To put it simply I was frazzled.
I felt like if I didn’t remove some of the excess and self imposed stressors from my life that I was going to end up down a very dark rabbit hole.
I needed to refocus, re-energise and re-discover the things that were important to me.
I also happened to be reading a little book by Gabrielle Bernstein called May Cause Miracles. To say I was feeling a little inspired to undertake some mucho needed self care is a bit of an understatement. (If you haven’t heard of Gabrielle Bernstein before have a read through her blog )
How have I benefited from taking a break from the influx of information that is Social Media?
Clarity, Composure and renewed Commitment to life, a desire to blog again rather than feeling like it was just one extra thing that I had to do, feeling able – I can do big things when I care for myself and put myself first, Ideas flowing forth from my newly cleared mind.
I just feel so much better!
Have you ever considered taking a break from all of the information that you take in daily? I would love to hear about it if you have done it yourself – please share your experiences in the comments below.
Simple home made shakers using pasta and craft supplies and cheap plastic containers are perfect to keep things interesting for the little monkey!
To make these, all I did was take some clear plastic screw top containers purchased at a $2 shop and filled them with different sounding objects.
In this picture, the first contains some metallic bells, the second contains some puff pom poms and sequins for a very small soft sound and the third contains an assortment of macaroni, buttons and novelty buttons in different animal shapes – to give the baby something to search for in the jar.
To make it safe for baby to play with, I affixed the jar lid using some 2 part epoxy glue on the inside of the screw top lid – that way the lid can’t be pried open by little hands.
These toys are probably appropriate from 3 months upwards – however once your baby learns that jar’s such as these can be opened it is probably best that they are used under supervision – just in-case they manage to get past the glue!
This is H-Boy’s very first attempt at painting – he actually wanted to eat the paint brush more than paint with it – and it was rather messy – but fun all the same!
** This post originally appeared on one of my blogs from well back in the day – this week I am doing a retrospective of some past writing – I hope you enjoy!**
What if I just slowed down and watched the world go by?
Let all of the lovely moments into our lives
and not blink as they pass by.
What if we just sat back and enjoyed the simple things?
Exploring nature, good food, family, friends – and all that they bring.
What if I just didn’t need more stuff?
Would I feel less cluttered and not yearn to have…enough?
What if I learnt to just stand still – and be in the moment – live for right now?
I would be OK – I might even be great.
Quietly, quietly – my new found consciousness awaits.
I’ve never really been one for writing poetry but this came to me this morning and I felt the urge to put pen to paper.
Motherhood has brought me many things but the one thing that stands out is how much my thinking and thought processes have change and continue to change.
It is a little overwhelming at times and I am still working through it.
The one thing I have found to be the most profound is that it is so importnat to have confidence as a parent. To be confident in your choices and to try and not listen to too many experts – especially to not compare yourself and your choices to others.
To let your baby guide you – to let go of control.
This is one of the parts I am trying to work on.
** This post originally appeared on one of my blogs from well back in the day – this week I am doing a retrospective of some past writing – I hope you enjoy!**
“Drink your tea slowly and reverently, as if it is the axis on which the
world earth revolves – slowly, evenly, without rushing toward the
future. Live the actual moment. Only this moment is life.”
Thich Nhat Hanh
A morning routine is something that I strive for and makes SUCH a big difference to my day.
In a perfect world, I would wake naturally before the rest of the family. I would be well rested and ready to start the day. I would get up and head downstairs to my meditation area and sit for around 15 – 20 minutes. With some Aromatherapy oils and music drifting in the background. Then I would go and make myself a cup of tea and write in my Journal for 20 minutes – a free flowing uninterrupted 20 minutes of prose, setting my goals and intentions for the day. I would then make myself some breakfast and celebrate the time alone, looking forward to the munchkins coming out for breakfast and starting their days.
This is what I strive for – it very rarely happens but when it does the day is usually wonderful. It is amazing what giving a little time to yourself can do.
Now, if only it was that easy to awaken at 5 am….
xxAndj
Do you have a morning routine? What does it look like? What would be your perfect start to the day?
** This post originally appeared on one of my blogs from well back in the day – this week I am doing a retrospective of some past writing – I hope you enjoy!**
Every week on a Tuesday, H boy and I go along to a free local activity called Paint and Play. It is run at a local disused preschool and is full of fun activities for kids. It provides a great opportunity for wearing them out!
A few weeks ago I took hubby along with us so that he could see what we do while he is at work.
The deal is that when you arrive you sign the child in and give them a name tag. Some of the mums wear name tags also. Call me a snob or perhaps just introverted – I never make myself a name tag.
Hubby asked me why I don’t and precedes to point out to me all of the missed opportunities for mother to mother conversations that I miss out on every week. So the next week I made a deal with him that I would wear a name tag and see what happened.
Sure enough one other mum stuck up a conversation with me.
Interestingly this girl is also someone whom I see around the place quite a bit. She looks like the kind of person I would get along with well – we have similarly aged children, clearly both enjoy shopping (the shops is often where I see her), and have similar taste in clothes.
The thing is, she is often with one of those imposing groups of well put together mums who in their ‘uniform’ of leggings, knee high boots and tunic tops with their designer baby kit bags and fancy prams completely intimidate me and I don’t feel like I can strike up a conversation with them. I don’t know how to take it from playgroup idle conversation to opportunities for friendship building. Kind of like the cool girls at school – I would LOVE to be friends with these people – they totally look like the kind of people I would get along with. The kind of people I was friends with in Brisbane but haven’t me here in Canberra yet.
I guess that some people call these ‘cool’ groups the “Mummy Mafia” – but I don’t always see them as the cool girls at school who will trip you in the hall (although if their child was in competition with yours for whatever reason I think I would be watching my back!) – lets face it women are always competing whether it be for good or bad.
But really – it doesn’t matter how far we come from school – we always seem to revert back to what we wanted then – to fit in and be part of the crowd. To be normal and to have it all together – despite what goes on under the surface.
I know that I fit right back into the mold that I created for myself in high school – the one where I didn’t have very much money and always had slightly awkward social skills. The one where I was slightly individual and for this I was ridiculed. I know I am not this person anymore but it does stop the old feelings from resurfacing.
** This post originally appeared on one of my blogs from well back in the day – this week I am doing a retrospective of some past writing – I hope you enjoy!**
We had a little lunch gathering for a few friends yesterday – not quite like the picture above – but hey I am dreaming of summer and being able to spend serious amounts of time outdoors!
We cooked up a bit of an Indian feast including a couple of vegetarian curries (Eggplant and Chickpea as well as this Aloo Gobi ). We also made a Goat Madras – yes you read right – Goat.
Back in our pre-children days we regularly went to a great Indian restaurant in Brisbane called A Night in India (High st, Toowong – I thoroughly recommend!). My husband and his friends regularly ordered a goat dish for the novelty factor – and really it is a novelty. It doesn’t taste all that different to Lamb!
For the first time I went to a specialty spice store and bought a authentic Indian madras spice blend. If you have never been to one of these places they are quite an eye opener – all the things you can buy in bulk! Rice and Spices…. but I digress. I think that doing this made such a big difference to the flavour of the curry – it was perfect! Add rice and poppadums – we were all very happy! If anyone is interested I improvised basing the curry on a combination of this Goat curry recipe and this one.
I found it interesting to hear one of our friends telling the other girl (Who I had only met once before briefly) that I make everything from scratch (she was referring to the pumpkin hummus that I made). Is it that strange to cook from scratch? Is that a reflection of the quick and easy society that we live in?
I cook most things from scratch for a number of reasons:
- so that I know what has gone into the food – no chemicals, additives or preservatives.
- so that my children see cooking and preparing food as a normal part of growing up and that we don’t always just go to the shop when we want something.
- value for money!
So I’ll leave you with the Eggplant and Chickpea curry recipe – but tell me -
Do you prefer to make things from scratch???
Eggplant and Chickpea Curry
Serves 4 as a main
2 medium Eggplant
200g Green Beans
1 onion – diced
1 Tin chickpeas
1 tin Lentils
1.5 tbls Tamarind paste
2 Cups water
1 tbls yellow mustard seeds
2 tbls Garam marsala
200ml Coconut milk
Rogan Josh curry spice blend
2 tbls minced ginger
1 tblsp minced garlic
Method
Chop eggplant into 3 – 4 cm cubes, spray with olive oil spray and cook in a 200 degree celcius (180 fan forced) oven for 20mins.
Place the onion, garlic and ginger in a pan with approx 2 tbls olive oil – cook gently until the onion starts to brown. Add the mustard seeds and Garam Marsala and cook until fragrant (about 1 min). Add spice blend and mix through thoroughly. Add tamarind and water and stir through. Allow to cook down and reduce slightly. Add eggplant, lentils, chickpeas and beans and cook for around 10 minutes, stirring regularly. Add coconut milk in the last 5 minutes.
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